when i was younger i had a really bad fear of vampires when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse the vampires and they would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon
Your brother is the best
Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.
blackboard is the worst invention of all time because there’s literally no way to escape your homework. sick with the flu? homework’s on blackboard. snow day? homework’s on blackboard. house burned down? used your fucking phone because the fucking homework’s on blackboard